Getting Outside of Yourself
     Sent 11/17/2005

Sharing Creative Energy Newsletter
By Darla Arni

November 2005
Sharing Creative Energy Newsletter is a free monthly, or whenever Darla
can get it out, publication for clients, friends and subscribers who want to
be more creative, energetic and productive in their life and work.
Past copies are archived on our web site: www.darlaarni.com.
© 2005 Darla Arni
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In This Issue:
Greetings
Getting Outside of Yourself
Quote of the Month
Mensa Moment
What is Darla up to?

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GREETINGS!
Special greetings to everyone I met last month speaking at the Adoption and Foster Parent Coalition and Missouri State Teachers Association conferences. Especially those of you that have heard me before and still came back for more! I hope we meet again.
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GETTING OUTSIDE OF YOURSELF
(For Melinda)

Do you have a special coffee cup? You know which one I mean, it’s the one you reach for even though your cabinet is full of clean coffee cups. If might have a chip, it probably has a few stains, but to you it spells COMFORT. It fits your hand just right, or it has a particular message or design that rings true for you, or it was a gift from someone you care for deeply. As I write this newsletter I’m sipping my morning green tea from my special cup. A cup I bought for someone else nineteen years ago, but never gave away.

I met Melinda when we were both art students at the University of Missouri. She was wacky, energetic and a definite risk taker. We hit it off immediately. For the next three years we shared frustrations, dreams, and all the other bizarre things that happen to you in college. We very much had our separate lives and worlds, but we would regularly check in and update to make sure we were on the right course. Melinda was a total original. If I heard rocks hitting my dorm window I knew it was Melinda and she needed to talk. When she was chosen to represent her sorority in a formal beauty contest type competition, she whisked me off to The Wardrobe used clothing store to buy a hand-me-down formal so she could make a political statement about priorities.

Over the next twelve years we would graduate. She would marry and move twice. I would marry and move once. She would divorce. I would separate. She would find herself alone in Minneapolis with breast cancer and move back to Missouri. I would divorce. The fall of 1986 found us sitting together in Ellis Fischel Cancer Hospital in Columbia, Missouri having our own group therapy. She would listen for hours to my woes and regrets. I would try to make her comfortable and smuggle in foods they wouldn’t let her have. I would bring drawing paper, color swatches, and other art ‘stuff’ so we could brainstorm and create. We were both a mess and we were still having fun.

Thanksgiving of that year my mom and I made our usual marathon-shopping trip to Kansas City. I found a Christmas gift for Melinda, a coffee mug. The entire outside circumference was filled with graphic renderings of artist’s brushes, a paint palette, tubes of paint and colorful paint pots done in primary colors; the perfect gift. Two days later her mother called to tell me she had died.

I didn’t share this story with you as a downer, but rather as a reminder. It's not what is happening to us that's important, it's how we handle what is happening to us. Melinda was fun and hopeful even through tragedy and pain. In my ‘Energy of Attitude’ presentation I share my Top Ten Ways to Improve Your Attitude with #7 being ‘Encouraging Others’. Melinda and I both thought our lives were a mess, but by encouraging each other we not only got through it, we were able to enjoy each other and life. Her attitude made the difference and it was a choice.

I left the mug wrapped up for a long time, but finally decided Melinda would have wanted me to use it, and that’s what I do. I have other mementos of Melinda in my home, but this one reminds me everyday to get outside of myself, encourage others, make the choice. Don’t get me wrong, I still have bad attitude days, we all do. But having the tools to deal with them makes all the difference in the world.

Try encouraging others (yes, this also applies to your family) for the next week. Make it a point to notice the positives about someone’s work, appearance or behavior and tell them about it; you will be amazed that something so simple can make such a difference.
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*THE ENERGY OF ATTITUDE: If you would like more information about improving your attitude or know of a company, organization or group that could benefit by improving their attitude, contact Darla at 660-529-2969 or darlaarni@socket.net.
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QUOTE OF THE MONTH
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”-Ghandi
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MENSA MOMENT
Peter and Paul are twin brothers. One of them (we don’t know which) always lies. The other one always tells the truth. I ask one of them:
“Is Paul the one that lies?”
“Yes,” he answers.
Did I speak to Peter or Paul?

Email your answer to darlaarni@socket.net. The first 5 correct answers will be entered in our prize drawing.

Last Month’s Answer:
The answer to last month’s question was August. In order to add up to 38, it can only be the highest possible number for the last Monday of a month (31) and the highest for the first Thursday of a month (7). Therefore, both last month and the current month must have 31 days. The only two 31-day months in a row in the same calendar year are July and August.

I had several answer October but no August answers. Good luck this month!

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Darla Arni is a Professional Speaker, Consultant and Author of Sharing Creative Energy at Home, Life Compass for Women, and the Sharing Creative Energy Newsletter.

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